Sunday, April 1, 2012

Letter To The One Who Can Know The Truth

There is so much that we have in common that it is scary at times. We are like the same person with slight variations. You are the one I feel that would handle the truth the best. You are the one who is always concerned when I say something that might be leading to something that is hidden. You want to get to know the real me. You want to, because you want to help me. You are the true friend I have been looking for, for so long that it has almost left me hopeless. You ask about things that no one else seems to care about, because you know that is where the root of it all is. I want to tell you everything, but am scared. I am scared because of what you will think. There are things that if I tell you, I feel you will pull a way, and that is something I don't think I could take. I really want to tell you everything, but I don't want lose you as my friend because that would be far worse then letting the battle inside keep going. I am scared of what you will think and that some of the things that come with the truth will ruin a beautiful and most important relationship.At times when I turn down your inquiries with generalized statements, it isn't because I don't trust you or not want to tell you. It is simply because I am scared of losing you in my life, and that makes it seem like a small  sacrifice to keep fighting inside. I really do trust you with my life, and know without a shout of a doubt that I can trust you with the truth, I am simply scared of what the ugliness of the truth will do to our friendship. I can't bring myself to jeopardize something so secure, and probably the best friendship I have ever had for something that I have been dealing with perfectly fine with for years now.

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